Resentment in relationships can destroy a relationship. It’s an unspoken kind of festering anger that can be destructive to even the most solid relationships. Resentment has the ability to destroy the love that once united two people if it is not addressed. Thankfully, there are things you can do to put an end to animosity so you can reconcile and heal.
Resentment is an attitude that stems from the conviction that you were wronged in some manner. Usually, resentment begins with a tiny thing and if left unaddressed it will fester and grow into a big problem. If the offensive deeds or words aren’t addressed, bad emotions eventually turn into resentment. The inability to discuss something your partner did leads to resentment. By facing your partner and having direct conversations about the real issues, you can prevent resentment. Anger is a sign of resentment, which is frequently accompanied by shock, scorn, disgust, and surprise.
There are numerous causes of resentment. There may be anger in your relationship due to betrayal, a lack of empathy, or rude remarks. Even though your partner didn’t intend to hurt you, their actions still had a significant impact on you. It’s possible that you are harboring animosity toward them without even realizing it. Sometimes the mistreatment that leads to resentment is only misconduct that is incorrectly perceived. In any case, you should work to end the animosity before it destroys your bond.
Signs of Resentment
- Being passive-aggressive or hostile toward your partner
- Feeling angry, irritated, or frustrated with your partner
- Feeling hopeless in a relationship
- Lack of desire for your partner
- Using blanket statements (“You never…”, “You always…”)
- Talking rudely about your partner
- Comparing your partner to others
- Intentionally doing things to upset your partner
- Using the silent treatment or avoiding them altogether
- Diminished communication
Causes of Resentment in a Relationship
Betrayal
Any type of betrayal (sexual, emotional, financial) could lead to resentment within a relationship. Resentment will creep into the relationship if the betrayal is not addressed properly. You must share your feelings, communicate your needs, and talk about the issues.
Disrespect
Disrespect damages relationships by preventing communication, inciting animosity, and eventually taking them to dangerous places. Using the other person, disparaging them, and calling names are all overt examples of contempt. However, it can also take a more subdued or passive form, such as ignoring the other person, not paying attention, or disparaging them in any manner.
Equality
One partner’s perception that they are receiving unfair treatment is one of the main sources of resentment in relationships. They might believe that they are taking care of many of the housekeeping duties. They can experience financial challenges in providing. Or they can think that they are the only ones who must take care of the kids. Either way, resentment can take over when jealousy and wrath enter the picture.
Feeling Secondary
Resentment in a relationship can occur when someone is feeling secondary to other people or things. This can easily make someone feel as if they are not a priority in the relationship. Sadness, hurtfulness can occur and resentments in relationships can happen.
Different Expectations
Stress can turn into resentment when partners have different expectations for how they should be handled. This is frequently the case when trivial matters escalate into issues because they are not appropriately handled. Insecurity can sabotage your relationships. It is important to deal with your issues which is why counseling will help.
Lack of Communication
Resentment in a relationship can develop with poor communication. Resentment in relationships is typically related to poor communication. People need to communicate to reduce resentment in relationships. Resentment in relationships can simply be because of poor communication. Assumptions and mind reading can lead to disappointment and frustration.
Insecurity
Feelings of insecurity can lead to resentment in relationships. Feelings of insecurity can turn outward and lead to negative behaviors such as anger and distrust.
What Are the Effects of Resentment in Relationships?
If you do not deal with resentment in a relationships, it may linger and increase over time. Instead, bitterness will inevitably intensify with time. It could spread and harm the relationship in its entirety if it continues to grow. When resentment is present in a relationship, it can be difficult to maintain an intimate connection with your partner.
Loss of Trust
Resentment in relationships can cause you to view your partner less favorably and lead to mistrust. This negative view of your partner can lead to dislike, distrust, and turn you away from your partner.
Divorce or Breakup
When you hold resentment towards your partner might make you feel alone. It may be difficult to envision a happy future together because of your resentment. The amount of labor required to make things better could feel overwhelming. When animosity reaches a certain point, separation or divorce could be inevitable. You put forth less effort yourself when you have low expectations of your partner.
How to Fix Resentment in a Relationships
Identify the Cause of Resentment
The first step to healing from resentment is to identify the cause of the resentment. People make mistakes in a relationship but holding on to a resentment is your responsibility and your choice. Once you acknowledge your resentment, think about whether your feelings stem from your partner or from an external source. This requires you to look inward and should motivate you to heal from the original cause of the resentment.
Talk About the Problem
Open and honest communication is key to healing from resentment in your relationships. Be honest with your partner and tell them how you feel and be clear and specific. Sometimes resentments simply stem from miscommunication. Then find ways to reconnect with one another. Share what you think would make you feel better, trusting, and more forgiving.
Consider Therapy
Couples or individual counseling can mend the damage from resentments in a relationship. Talking to a therapist can help you identify triggers, find clarity, forgive, and heal. Therapy can also assist you with healthy communication skills and reconnect with your partner on a deeper level. Contact Sobair Mental Health and Wellness for mental health counseling in Ohio and PA. Wellness and hypnosis services including past life regression and age regression are available too.