Self-sabotaging behaviors are defined as deliberate action (or inaction) that impedes people’s advancement and keeps them from reaching their objectives. Self-sabotage is the act of someone impeding their own progress. It may come as a surprise, yet some people work against their own long-term objectives and intentions. When a behavior interferes with your life goals and causes problems in your daily life, it is considered self-sabotaging behaviors. People don’t always realize they are harming themselves or engaging in self-sabotaging behavior. The good news is that all forms of self-sabotage may be overcome.
Why do people self-sabotage?
There are many reasons people self-sabotage. There are lots of reasons why we might find ourselves acting against the things we want and recognizing them is the first step towards solving the problem. Self-sabotaging refers to behaviors or unconscious mental habits that impede your long-term objectives and general well-being. Self-destructive conduct can be experienced regarding relationships, personal projects, and professional aspirations.
We are our own worst enemies. There are many reasons we might find ourselves self-sabotaging against the things we want. The first step in stopping self-sabotaging behavior is to identify your self-sabotaging triggers and work towards solving the problem. Sometimes identifying your self-sabotaging triggers can be difficult, especially if the negative consequences do not immediately follow the behavior.
People obstruct their own advancement for a multitude of reasons. They might self-sabotage intentionally or inadvertently. Childhood problems and the aftereffects of past relationships are among the factors. Additional causes of this kind of harmful conduct range from issues with cognitive dissonance, which will be discussed below, to low self-esteem and difficulties coping.
People frequently employ self-sabotage as a coping strategy to handle difficult circumstances and traumatic experiences from the past. Regretfully, it usually exacerbates issues and hinders one’s capacity to effectively advance in a healthful manner.
For example: Self-sabotage perpetrators may be conscious of their behavior. For instance, an overweight person on a diet might purposefully ruin their efforts by downing an entire box of ice cream. Self-sabotaging behaviors could be unconscious, and some people behave without thinking. Someone forgets a deadline at work. It seemed that he was running late at first. Though, he fears failing. By missing the deadline, he self-sabotages and obstructs his ambition to advance within the organization.
Self-Sabotaging Behaviors
Self-sabotaging behaviors has been identified by mental health counselors and the three most common self-sabotaging behaviors are procrastinating, self-medication, and perfectionism.
Procrastinating is a form of self-sabotage. Your procrastination is a means of showing other people that you’re never ready and delaying success. People do this because of a fear of upsetting other people, failing, or succeeding.
Perfectionism is a form of self-sabotage. One will experience delays and setbacks if they hold themselves to an unattainable standard. Although hoping for everything to go according to plan without any problems seems like a clever idea, perfectionism impedes accomplishment. Perfectionists crumble when things do go wrong or not according to their plans. They experience shame, blame, feel depressed, and they always feel as though they are failing everyone.
Self-medication is a form of self-sabotage. Many turn to drugs, alcohol, and self-harm as a coping mechanism for the ongoing struggle they face between their desire for achievement and the voice in their heads that tells them they are incapable of achieving it. They tend to feel doubt and constantly worry about being seen as a failure or unworthy. They use drugs or alcohol to numb their feelings and soothe the pain and disappointment self-sabotaging people tend to feel.
How do I stop my self-sabotaging behaviors?
The first step is identifying your self-sabotaging behaviors and then seeking professional help from a mental health therapist or certified hypnotherapist. The best course of action is to seek advice from your therapist or counselor. Here are some things to think about to stop yourself from doing further harm if you are looking for guidance on how to stop self-sabotaging behaviors.
When did these self-sabotaging behaviors start? Seek out trends in your life. Have you tended to consistently undermine your sincere attempts to achieve your goals? Did these things happen before you were about to succeed or just as you were ready to fulfill your own ambitions? As stated, this conduct might have its roots in early life. Mental health therapy can help you uncover the root causes of your self-sabotaging behaviors and teach you strategies to stop self-sabotaging.
Procrastination is a common trait of people who self-sabotage. It could be emotionally simpler to keep putting off crucial tasks rather than accomplishing a goal you’ve been told you’ll never be able to accomplish. A common factor in procrastination involves a lack of self-regulation. When people are faced with distractions, temptations, and long deadlines they tend to put things off and do not work toward their goals.
Look at the details and not the big picture. Sometimes the big picture goal can seem overwhelming. To prevent acts of self-sabotage, don’t get hung up on details. Those who self-sabotage sometimes waste lots of time on unimportant details and this impedes progress. Aim to strive for quality, not perfection. Make small improvements and note progress on the way toward accomplishing the desired goal.
Are You Self-Sabotaging?
If you think you are self-sabotage, ask yourself:
- Is your behavior supporting your goals?
- If not, what is stopping you from taking action to make your dreams come true?
- Is your behavior lined up with values?
- If not, what is stopping you from taking actions that align with these values?
- Do you feel uneasiness or discomfort when you progress? If yes, dig deeper:
- Is this discomfort based on what others told you that limited your goals?
- Is this discomfort based on a fear of failure and worry about looking foolish?
- Is this unease based on a fear of success?
- Are you concerned with achieving more than you thought possible?
- If you do better or achieve more, do you believe success is more than you deserve?
Treatment for Self-Sabotaging Behaviors
Individuals who self-sabotage might struggle to control their feelings and actions. Adverse childhood experiences or abuse are frequently the root cause of both behavioral and emotional dysregulation. This dysregulation may produce negative outcomes. Help is available for people who self-sabotage due to a variety of issues, such as drug and alcohol misuse, binge eating, anger management, and self-harm.
Self-sabotage sufferers have also benefited from the following therapies:
Techniques that effectively relieve cognitive distortions are employed in cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT). By replacing harmful thought patterns with these strategies, you can enhance your general wellbeing.
DBT, or dialectical behavior therapy, is effective in solving difficulties involving strong emotions. This may include impulsive actions, problems with impulse control, and interpersonal conflict. This strategy will help you become more adept at controlling your emotions.
- Virtual/Online counseling is available here.
- Hypnotherapy is highly effective in treating self-sabotaging behaviors.
As you learn more about the distinct types of self-sabotage (and how they show up), be easy with yourself. Remember that trying to change too much at once is classic self-defeating behavior. So, work with a mental health professional. A therapist can provide support and accountability as you learn how to stop self-sabotaging and move forward.